make me feel good

exited

2007-04-17T19:07:36Z

friday appleseed cast with mike ! whoot.
im delighted.
yeahuh.

this weekend was an absolute nightmare.
i felt like if i was a character in fear and loathing in las vegas, trapt in my thoughts and crazy illusions. for god sakes, i saw hairy monsters floating on my cealing, and my pupels were the size of golf balls, i broke in hives, and threw up at least 7 times within the trip.

i was scared, i slept in the same room as my aunt.
im pathetic .. haha
:c
this weekend hopefully works out a little bit better, the drugs expense are way to high.
im taking a break.

lily_monster1 @ 2007-04-10T13:09:00

2007-04-10T18:10:34Z

WHAAA

lily_monster1 @ 2007-03-30T11:59:00

2007-03-30T17:13:36Z

so i can be more independent?
fuck that.
dont test a friendship thats just staright up fucked up.
within the last week things have been going a bit better, people's real personalities come up to the surface.
liers, back stabbers, dirty short skinny prostitutes are the new trend.
i guess the only way you can be "in" is to spread your pale legs and hope for the best.. hahahahhahah

have a good time guys

lily_monster1 @ 2007-03-09T14:01:00

2007-03-09T20:04:48Z

i havent felt this jealous in a while.
god i feel like i have nothing to offer anymore ..
whaa what am i saying like i ever did.
this is just absolutely ridiculous some people have no sense of compasion or a bit of regard.
DONT FORGET THE RULES.
if i want to fuck them
hands off bitch.
if i already fucked them
hands off slut.

bring it ill fucking cut you up

lily_monster1 @ 2007-03-09T11:56:00

2007-03-09T17:56:56Z

im oh so hurt.. gah
im goign to looooooo
se
it.

whooooorooo!

2007-03-05T20:04:48Z

thursday night!-whoot whoot skippy workkkk .. met up with michael boi
and stephanie poo. brazils, empire, and agora were the destinations.
before all that we sat at menil park enjoying the sunset rays , the banjo playing man , and the scary heigths of the art piece steph and i climbed. it was a crazy blast ..
yauuuh yahuuu
later ons that night we all met up with isa bear

and soo itll go on anoter time

lily_monster1 @ 2007-03-01T12:14:00

2007-03-01T18:14:47Z

i met a boy.
c:
he makes me blush.

but i cant single life is just too good

i want some ice creams

2007-02-21T18:09:10Z

im ghetto as fuck homie :)
kay

friday-fucked up.. danced ..cuddled..pulled an all nighter.
saturday-shopped..slept..drank..flirt
sunday-worked
monday-fucked..
tuesday-work..
interesting so far ...?

lily_monster1 @ 2007-02-09T11:13:00

2007-02-09T18:13:53Z

teenie bopper haters misfits. should die.
people like you are weak .
running your moulth.
you all dont know the half of it.
and you immature stupid boy my resentment cant enlarge no more.
you ruin my future if this is so .
you ruin my youth if this is true.
ill chew you up and spit you out.

poser fashionista talking shit
because of jealousy towards my regret
he would kill to be in my place

keep your head up girl.

lily_monster1 @ 2007-02-02T12:15:00

2007-02-02T19:01:09Z

ive come to realize that most of the people i think are at least slightly content ..well hate life.
that came unexpected.
basically life is slowly but surely on its way to change.
i ve pretty much quit drugs.
yea .
i did.
this past few months i joined a sobriety group called conerstone..
well its helped things put themselves in correct proportions. im hapy about that .. i feel different alive and i know, I KNOW, i can get through wahtever shit is in my way.
i have faith.

every passing momment is a chance to turn it all around

2006-11-03T18:07:23Z

im done with all the gay shit.
im goign to make MYSELF happy.
me myself and i.
IM ALL I GOT.
so now its time to rely on the only one that will be here all along and hsa been here all along.
thats myself

you leave me hungry wanting more

2006-10-27T23:42:13Z

its been 2 fucking weeks since i been to school.
egh i hate it.
blegh i cant get enough of the rush .
and staying sober just doenst work for me. gahh
i need to change fast .. before i become just another car crash on the side of the road .
i need something or someone to motivate me besides myself ..i am no good .
i know this is true , im just another typical teenage fuck up ..

boys and cocaine

2006-10-12T17:08:50Z

i notice thta theres an obvious similarity with boys and cocaine... wtf? right? yeah the more you do them the more you want them.. the momment you stop you feel the need to do it more..more more.
gay.
gay.
boy . boys.
meh.\
im worn out..

mixed signals, malboro reds, and cafes auleas .
can life get anymore interesting for me?
yes , it can..
i need to find a new hobbie besides drawing and writing even thou im very modest with my art work i cant help to feel that im self centered when i judge someone elses art work i feel that there always room for improvement .. and i know that there is.
:)
everyone has left; nina, joey, jack, and vince.
i sure had some wild times with those kiddos .. most of them i cant remeber .. at all.. too many drugs too many runs ..too many fucking mistakes..
im done with that.

now im just depressed

these odd situations can only get better.
right?
you answer me.

:)

2006-10-09T14:02:36Z

i met someone new
again.
i need to stop,
hahahah

:)

2006-10-05T15:44:44Z

monady work
tuesday kiss
wednesday did shrooms.got extensions

thursday: i probably wont remebr what i will ldo for the rest of the day
numbers on fridays.

saturday get fucked..
sunday agora

just my typical week.

:) new buddies own

2006-09-27T17:17:34Z

so
on monday albert stephanie
and i met up at whole foods so albert could get an application.
stephanie and i went to the back picked up some pizza and origina
yum.
we headed to the cash register, automatically meaning that we would pick ,umm yeah
jasons cash register.
after saying a few hellos making some small talk.. he finally um asked for my number :)
yeah
jason..
umm so yestoday we went to teahouse and chatted up for about an hour ..
tehee we hit off
he was easy to talk to really nice charismatic and sweet. yeap.
so far so good.
and the phone conversation went well.
today
we are most likely goign to see each other again
:)
go pick up some coffee or something and on sunday .. maybe agora.
maybe.
hopefully
this one works out.

i have horrible luck with my male friendships , for the exeption of a few..umm
maybe i need to start gettin really unatractive male friends so i wont have the urge to make out with them eerytime we hang out.
:(

i aint no whore
i just love . love.
meaning in every way.

I didnt fuck you just for you to ignore me

2006-09-25T18:11:09Z

i think im the deepest person in my enitre family, everyone else is so fake.
yeah
fake.
there just trends.
they can suck my big 9 inch cock.
yeah
at least the ones i dislike,
i dunno
im fucked.

sex.
i like
it.
way too much.
yeah
.
addict
umm thsi weekend was nice.
i went to dinner with reid
at brazils then went to agora
.
on sat i worked the whole fucking day
yeah

.
last night i met up with wade cody and fabian at agoras
fabian and cody were fucking baked like always.
nothing new, same usual jazmine tea and long camel lights ,
yum.

mdsblwbl.b ok so this is

2006-04-15T04:14:14Z

KJbvjlbvl
SO HOW THE HELL DO I BEGAN
aight this last week has been pretty tight
so if i can remebr right everything is pretty good at school.
people are friendly and im happy socially and academics wisee
whooo!
if i remebr right on monday i went to teahouse with ben
:)
it was pretty sweet we chilled talked for an hour or so but then i had to leave to buy my cute girly shoes form "mint " ..on my way there i found riley and jeremy in a car and riley asked me if she could giive me a ride :)
and so i joined them. riding in the back of the car with tons of candy and cigarretttes. yum such a delicious combination
then after getting the shopping done i headed towards work
were i got sent oem early since my motha didnt need me
and then i slept all afternoon
.
wednesday
i hung with alberrrrtttt<3
we went to teahouse had a grand time talking.
that kid is great
then i went home and slept all afternoon
:)
thursady
i got a ride home form reid the man and stephhh
it was exiting listening to david bowie
fun fun
and they asked my mommy if i can chill at the park wit them in the morning
hehe.

today {friday}
it was fun
and shaky
yea
:)

.

i was only trying to be optimistic

2006-04-04T02:08:38Z

these few days,
was work work work, & a few hours of worthless tv. and meaningless phone conversations, mix with a bit of family drama .same old shit
its chilled .
hectic i started off a perfectly fine week, umm my grades are goign way up and my art skills have inproved
but, always something goes wrong
and then i had my donwfall.
i think that once i loose all feelings and caring for a person..i just hide myself away.its what i do, the only thing i can do..for now those people are only goign to be able to see a despersonalized, apathetic bitch.
which is what at aim for at times.
as nice i may look we all have our downfalls and i thhnk thats mine.
i push awya to soon before even the numbness starts to kick in.
because ...i rather feel regret and sadness than to feel nothing at all
because i hate feeling empty and numb.
its the worst state to be.
so now
i have a rush of emotions.
happy, apathetic, hated and .yes very much sad.

lily_monster1 @ 2006-03-28T19:01:00

2006-03-29T03:11:09Z

hi.
this is my first livejournal entry.
bleh
im completely empty and bored.
spacing out too much.
i dont know what to do.

life isnt goign to the way i want it to and these few days havent been so wonderful either..

i dont even remebr why i got this thing ..

oh well. it ll keep me entertained